Things I’d tell my younger self: A women’s collective

Things I’d tell my younger self: A women’s collective

by About Nikki
27 comments

I posed the following question on my Instagram & Facebook last week: If you could tell your younger self anything, what would it be, and how do you think it would have changed your course? 

I was surprised and elated by the number of responses. There were so many I personally resonated with, so I wanted to share my own list, as well as all the others I received.

What I would have told my younger self:

  • I know you love and respect him, but you can’t force him to love and respect himself. All the energy, tears, sleepless nights, and opportunities wasted are not worth it. You deserve so much more and will find it, I promise.
  • You think you aren’t cut out to be a mom, so you tell people you really prefer not to have kids. Believe me, you aren’t half bad.
  • Save your money. You’ll need it down the line.
  • Don’t you dare smoke that cigarette. It’s not cool and you’re being dumb.
  • TRAVEL. Go now! Go explore the world.
  • You aren’t crazy. You aren’t just being ‘a hormonal girl’ your feelings are valid.
  • You really love graphic design. And you’re kind of good at it. Take some classes, get a good paying job.
  • Don’t rely on anyone else to pay your way.
  • Take care of yourself and your body. It’s the only one you’ve got.
  • Care more about school, you’ll regret not putting more effort in.
  • Your credit matters, like a lot. Be mindful.

Here is what other’s had to say about what they would tell themselves:

  1. You deserve the ability to be who you are both in friendships and relationships
  2. You’re capable of ANYTHING! Also, take more naps.
  3. Be more adventurous. Love harder, forgive quicker – even when there isn’t an apology given.
  4. Live for an audience of one (God). See people through Jesus’ eyes.
  5. Learn to listen. I was often so quick to respond in an argument rather than find the root of what was causing it in the first place. Find the problem, don’t react to the emotion.
  6. ‘It’ll be fine’ I wouldn’t change anything, even the bad, because it lead me to where I am today.
  7. Every action doesn’t require a reaction
  8. Stop wasting your time on stupid boys who aren’t worth yours.
  9. Learn to eat appropriately. Don’t marry him.
  10. Refrain from buying stupid shit. Save your money! Take more risks. Love yourself hard.
  11. Finish school, dammit!
  12. I am lovable and worthy.
  13. Stop looking to others for approval. Boys are dumb.
  14. Be bold and do it anyway, regardless of what it is or was.
  15. Stay humble, be kinder to people and stop wasting time on people who won’t matter later on.
  16. The only way to overcome any trial is to cling to God and hold onto your faith.
  17. Those that matter don’t mind and those that mind don’t matter.
  18. People aren’t thinking about you as often as you think. Get over yourself.
  19. Be yourself always, if people don’t like it, it’s their loss.
  20. If you can’t control it, there’s no point in worrying about it.

There’s a common denominator in that I don’t think the majority of us would have wanted our courses altered. Would we have listened anyway? Probably not. Regardless, here we are. Surviving. Our stories may be beat to hell, but they’re what makes us so uniquely wonderful.

What’s something you would add to this list?


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Nikki is a thirty-something-year-old AZ native girlfriend & mama who hopes to create a safe space for women; helping to cultivate honest dialogue and end the stigma surrounding maternal mental health.

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27 comments

Jamie September 24, 2018 - 9:03 PM

Hahaha I’ve loved naps from an early age, can’t stop won’t stop. I love number 1 and 18. Great reminders no matter where you are in life.

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About Nikki September 25, 2018 - 6:37 PM

Hell yes! Naps are LIFE. I’ve loved them even into adulthood and always will. I’ll be the crazy 80 year old lady napping everywhere.

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Kristi @ Way Beyond The Norm September 24, 2018 - 9:27 PM

Do what you love and don’t let anyone tell you you can’t. That’s what I’d say to my younger self. I love all the responses above…especially the ones about saving money and how boys are dumb. LOL! #Truth

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About Nikki September 25, 2018 - 6:37 PM

LOL boys are STILL dumb! That’s why were the better gender, always 😉 The saving money one really stuck out to me.

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Alexis H. September 25, 2018 - 3:41 AM

This is so inspiring! There are so many things we wish we could warn ourselves or tell ourselves it but the beauty of it is because of those things we learned and grew to be better!

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About Nikki September 25, 2018 - 6:38 PM

Absolutely! Even though I wouldn’t change the outcome I def would have said a few things to myself to maybe sway my course a bit.

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Shiree | Confessions of Parenting September 25, 2018 - 5:16 AM

These are all fantastic! Why do we all seem to wait too long to just be ourselves?! Such great advice!

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About Nikki September 25, 2018 - 6:38 PM

Exactly! Insecurity growing up is real!

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Chells | Bottles + Bellinis September 25, 2018 - 3:56 PM

This is such an inspirational post! I’d tell my younger self many of these same things.

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About Nikki September 25, 2018 - 6:39 PM

I think we all would, its why it resonated with me so much and I felt convicted to share. Thanks for reading!

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Alex September 25, 2018 - 5:08 PM

These are so great! If only we could go back and shake our younger selves!!

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About Nikki September 25, 2018 - 6:39 PM

HAHA Right!? I totally would too!

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Sunny Jess September 25, 2018 - 5:47 PM

I love all of these! I wish I could go back and tell myself to STOP STRESSING about things I couldn’t control- I spent so much time stressing about things like other people that were toxic in my life, my self image, how my future would play out, and things that I wished I could change and had no control over and I wish I had spent all that time on energy focusing on something productive!

XXOO Sunny

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About Nikki September 25, 2018 - 6:40 PM

This is SO SO true. I spent so much time growing up trying to impress people and change their minds all the time and control how they react. All we can change is how WE react. Love your insight.

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Diana September 25, 2018 - 10:11 PM

This is great advice. If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be to not worry about what others think so much

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About Nikki September 26, 2018 - 10:27 PM

Yes! Same girl.

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Jenn September 26, 2018 - 12:10 AM

Yes this is fantastic, I wish I could go back and read this as well.

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About Nikki September 26, 2018 - 10:27 PM

Me too! I feel like we all should have had a copy on hand back then.

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Nicole September 26, 2018 - 3:43 AM

Ahh mindfulness about our own bodies and respecting ourselves is such good advice!

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About Nikki September 26, 2018 - 10:28 PM

Yes! I wish I would have paid more attention back then.

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Anna September 26, 2018 - 12:58 PM

This is very inspiring. If I can go back, I would definitely tell myself to do what you love, enjoy life and don’t let anyone tells you what to do.

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About Nikki September 26, 2018 - 10:29 PM

Enjoy life a little more. I love that one.

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Sarah September 26, 2018 - 6:38 PM

There are so many things I understand now I wish my younger self knew

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About Nikki September 26, 2018 - 10:29 PM

I think that’s the whole point, right? I hate that it’s like that though sometimes!

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Candice September 26, 2018 - 6:44 PM

Great list!! I think I would add “don’t listen to peoples criticism” “Avoid toxic people”even if they are family”and my favourite is “Your mental health matter’s don’t suck it up just because your a mom now. Take the time to heal and do self care!” (I have had people imply other wise.)

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About Nikki September 26, 2018 - 10:30 PM

Yes! That’s an amazing one. Toxic people have the ability to really do some damage. Yes absolutely mama!

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Marjie Mare September 27, 2018 - 1:51 AM

As we grow older and wiser, we realize all those stuff that we would say to our younger selves. We thought we knew better to realize we did not know much.

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