Christmas lights and infants do not mix, contrary to popular belief

You know that scene from '500 days of Summer' (great movie if you haven't seen it, by the way) where they have side by side comparisans of how 'expectations' play out VS. actual 'reality'? That is my view on Instagram Photography. There's this perfect plan you have of how cute your photo experiment will turn out, and then the reality sets in of your kid basically giving you the middle finger because she does what she wants.

I bow down to, commend, admire, and applaud the women of the world who by some dark wizardry get candids of their children being cooperative, angelic balls of magical photo dust.

Don't get me wrong, I'm painfully aware that I have limited photographic skill. My range is somewhere between a moody B&W of a patio table, and a shotty depth-of-field candid of my dog. As a kind-of adult, I understand these things take time, energy, and most of all, copious amounts of patience - all of which I have very little of.  However, I thought with a little flick of the wrist and some fine-tuned googling, I could surely capture at least ONE decent frame-worthy shot of my sweet little angel and some Christmas twinkle lights.

Justin Timberlake, giving an accurate dramatization of how that went:


For those of you still sticking around for whatever this is - I'll give you a summary of the 'not seen on Instagram' footage. There was interference ran by my boyfriend, who kept having to tear our infant away from detaching her jaw and gnawing at the lights, so that she wouldn't yanno, electrocute herself - all the meanwhile repeatedly telling me this was not working, trying to detangle our child from her new Christmas Twinkle prison, as my dog sat butt first in front of the camera. Also, it's worth noting that during all of this we kept acting like circus monkeys, just so she would maybe look in our direction once and seem amused.

Chaos. A hilarious, unmidigated disaster. What's more, is I will definitely be going back for more. I'm a freak like that. I got this fancy camera, and I'll be damned if it sits and collects dust because I get frustrated and have a tendency to quit things.

not. tuhday.

Anyway, That's it - I just wanted to share with you guys what a sloppy broad I am. I try to keep up with the Joneses, but it's just not my M.O - time to be more me, and less everyone else.

I've added the photos below to keep me motivated to get better!

It will be interesting to see where I'm at next year, and how much I've learned. Until then, We have taught our daughter a valuable lesson: although magical, Christmas lights are NOT meant to be eaten.

The more you know. 🌈