I feel petty admitting this; but I'm jealous of half the moms I know.
The propensity I have towards trying to make my grass as green as the other Instagram/Facebook yards is sort of disgusting. Scratch that; it's really disgusting. Since when should a picture of a naturally lit dining room send someone into a fit of irrational FOMO?
It's kind of weird thinking about the lengths I go to in order to take the perfect picture. On the side of a busy road, holding my baby in one arm, the selfie stick attached to the other, leaning slightly to the left to get the right angle; all because this sign said something ironic (quite literally), and would be perfectly paired with the 'Nashville' filter. Meanwhile my significant other waits in the car because he would love nothing more than to pretend he doesn't know me.
Okay, I'm severely exaggerating. But isn't it kind of funny that it doesn't seem that far off? Mind you, I'd never put my baby at risk doing something that freaking stupid (So calm the hell down, Betty tattle-tits. You don't need to call social services on me, take a seat.) But I have done some pretty hilarious poses and taken many a selfie in places I know people were giving me curious side-eye; just to prove I was doing something cool, somewhere Instagram worthy.
Honestly, in a majority of the photos I post; there is a precious amount of lighting, effort and time involved; and about 150 previously unapproved shots.
95% of the time, I am hovering over my daughter making sounds at pitches I didn't even know I could hit; just so she'll give me some half-ass grin in an attempt to get me to leave her the hell alone; because as her loud baby raspberries and facial expressions explain to me (yet again); she's not a damn show pony.
The other 5% is spent editing, filter shuffling, and hashtag copying my gem of a photo; so I can show off my awesome iPhone photography skills.
I say that sarcastically; but I secretly love sharing my kids cute and quirky moments with the world. I made that. I'm pretty proud of it. Going through the motions to highlight this amazing foundation we've built just reiterates that I don't need greener grass. My grass may have plenty of divots, some patches may be worn and faded, and sometimes I forget to water it; but its familiar. It's blades know the curves of my feet well; and I find comfort in all of it's imperfections. When I choose to put quality time and effort into it's care, I realize quickly that the other yards around it are all just trying to do the same.
So, in case you need the reminder:
- The janky kitchen table you're so ready to get rid of; the one that's seen four previous homes before yours, with the Crayola marks all over it; also has plenty of dinner memories left to give.
- That one shirt you feel like you always wear, the one with the tiny hole in the boob, and spit-up on the shoulder, is probably still snuggled up on daily by a little human who thinks you are the best (and most stylish) person in the entire world.
- The 10-year-old car you bitterly own because you can't afford to get a new one, and is good for nothing more than getting your family from point A, to point B; does just that. What a blessing.
Goodnight; from my seriously creaky, and sometimes questionably put together, hand-me-down bed.