One year ago today, the direction of my life took a fast pass from comfortably mundane, to infinitely purpose-driven. The foundation that Trav and I had spent the last 5 years diligently building would now require more pillars to stand on than ever before. We both took a leap of faith, and dove blindly into the depths of parenthood, ready to take on this new chapter in our lives; both equally elated and terrified.
Now, looking back at the blessings that came in the form of a mostly uneventful pregnancy and delivery, the strength and outpouring of support from our family and friends, and the overwhelming sense of unconditional love parenting has bestowed upon us; it’s hard to imagine what life was like before.
Before the dirty diapers, or the unexpected seamlessness that came with the transition from two to three.
Before the long, late nights, that still feel like they’ll never end, or the piles of spit-up soaked laundry that multiplies by the hour.
Before Googling the different cries of newborns, and what they mean, or the various shades of the rainbow a babies poop can be and why.
Before the constant worrying about growth charts, milestones, and comparisons, or the gradual thickening of your skin after you’ve built up an impressive tolerance against parent-shaming, and the judgmental opinions and side-eye it brings.
Before you knew the inexplicable excitement and pride you felt when your little one managed to stick its foot in his or her mouth for the first time, or reacted to your facial expressions with the gummiest of smiles and wonderment.
Before recognizing the rage that brings the overwhelming desire to roundhouse your partner in the face at 3 AM, because they are pretending to sleep, when you know damn well that they can hear the shrieks of hunger from the other room just as much as you can. Two can play this game, kemosahbee.
Before you had to censor your words, actions, music and movie selections, and overall ‘R’ rated tendencies, due to being constantly surrounded by tiny mimes that are also part-time parrots.
Before the constant inner back-and-forth between never wanting to be away from your little angel, to needing a break before you pull your now gray hairs out; and then realizing you can’t believe how much you miss them. So on, and so forth.
The essence of who we were, and what we knew before our daughter, pales in comparison to who we will forever strive to be because of her influence in our lives. She solidifies the weaknesses in the both of us; fills them with contentment, and hushes the bitter undertones of our inner demons.
Thank you, Charlie, for taking our once frantic “what are we going to do” and forever turning it into “whatever tomorrow brings.”